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So now, holy smokes have you heard the latest bombshell to rock the royal family? It's bigger than Prince Philip's graves, juicier than Diana's revenge dress, and more shocking than finding out the queen likes to binge watch The Crown. King Charles is probably sitting there in Buckingham Palace, adjusting his crown and wondering if he can get away with wearing his favorite garden clogs to the next dinner, suddenly bam, he gets hit with news that would make even the most stoic royal guardsman flinch. Netflix, that streaming giant we all love to hate-watch, is thinking about ghosting Harry and Meghan faster than you can say the crown season 27.
Now let's rewind a bit for those of you who've been living under a rock. Back in 2020, our dynamic duo Harry and Meghan decided they'd had enough of waving from balconies and cutting ribbons. They wanted to be financially independent, you know, like the rest of us peasants but with a multi-million dollar Netflix deal. They packed their designer bags, said cheerio to the palace and zoomed off to the land of green juice and paparazzi - California. They signed this whopper of a Netflix deal promising to deliver content that would make The Crown look like a boring history documentary. We all sat back expecting a royal version of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Instead, what did we get? A couple of shows that were about as exciting as watching paint dry on the palace walls.
Fast forward to now, and Netflix is looking at Harry and Meghan like they're a season of Emily in Paris - nice to look at but not really worth the investment. The streaming giant is reportedly thinking of not renewing their deal next year. Ouch, that's got to hurt more than sitting on the royal scepter. And guess who's horrified by all this? That's right, good old King Charles himself. Now you might be thinking, wait a minute Miss Friendly Neighborhood Critic, why would Charles be upset? Didn't he want to cut them out of his royal hair? Well, buckle up buttercup because this is where it gets juicier than a plum pudding at Christmas dinner.
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According to our trusty royal gossip guru Dan Wootton, and let's face it, that man knows more royal secrets than the corgis, Charles is having coronary palpitations over this news. Why? Because he's worried his rebellious son and daughter-in-law might run out of money. I know, I know, it's hard to imagine Harry and Meghan scrounging for coins in the sofa cushions of their Montecito mansion. But apparently, King Charles is envisioning a future where they might have to get real jobs. The horror!
Now let's take a moment to appreciate the irony here. Harry and Meghan left the royal family faster than you could say 'abdicating my responsibilities', claiming they wanted privacy and financial independence. They wanted to make it on their own, carve out their own path, and be normal citizens. But with a $100 million safety net, of course. And now barely 3 years into their grand adventure in the real world, it looks like the golden goose might be flying the coop. Netflix, it seems, isn't as impressed with their royal credentials as they thought. Turns out, being seventh in line to the throne doesn't automatically make you the next Shonda Rhimes. Who knew? But wait, there's more.
This Netflix snub isn't the first time Harry and Meghan's media empire has taken a hit. Remember Spotify, that little music app that thought having a real-life prince and his Hollywood wife be the podcast equivalent of striking oil? Well, they pulled the plug faster than you could say "what a Spotify." It's like watching a royal version of Shark Tank, where the sharks are slowly swimming away, leaving Harry and Meghan standing there with their pitch cards and bemused expressions, but...we're royalty! Sorry kids, in Hollywood, that and five bucks will get you a latte at Starbucks.
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Now let's talk about King Charles for a moment. Poor Charlie Boy must be feeling like he's stuck in a real-life soap opera. He waited longer to become king than most people wait for a table at a trendy brunch spot. He finally gets the top job, and what happens? His son and daughter-in-law are making more headlines than a royal wedding or coronation combined. Can you imagine the conversations in the palace? "Your majesty, shall we discuss the state of the economy?" "Not now, I'm busy worrying about whether Harry and Meghan can afford their avocado toast this month." It's enough to make a king want to trade in his scepter for a nice, quiet fishing rod.
But here's the real kicker, folks - this whole situation is like watching a car crash in slow motion, but the car is a Rolls Royce, and it's crashing into a pile of money. On one hand, we've got Harry and Meghan, who left the royal family to escape the spotlight and find freedom. Yet here they are, desperately clinging to their royal connections to stay relevant in the cutthroat world of streaming entertainment. On the other hand, we've got King Charles, who's probably torn between relief that the troublesome twosome are out of his royal hair, and worried they might come crawling back if their Hollywood dreams go up in smoke. It's like he's watching his son play a high-stakes game of Monopoly and he's not sure whether to hope he lands on Boardwalk or goes directly to jail.
And let's not forget the rest of us - the loyal subjects and avid royal watchers. We're all sitting here, popcorn in hand, watching this royal drama unfold like it's the latest binge-worthy series. Will Harry and Meghan bounce back? Will they have to grasp to get real jobs? Will we finally get that reality show where they try to navigate everyday tasks like doing their own laundry and grocery shopping? The possibilities are endless and frankly more entertaining than anything they've produced for Netflix so far. Maybe they should pitch that idea for their next series - "Keeping up with the Sussexes: Commoner Edition." I'd watch that!
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But jokes aside, folks, this whole situation does make you think. Harry and Meghan left the royal family seeking freedom and independence - they wanted to make it on their own terms, stay away from the constraints and expectations of royal life. And you know what? Good for them. It takes guts to walk away from a life of privilege and try to make it on your own. But here's the thing - making it on your own means actually making it on your own. It means facing the harsh realities of the world where your royal title doesn't automatically open doors or guarantee success. It means providing your worth based on your talents and hard work, not your bloodline. And let's be real, that's not easy, especially when you've grown up in a world where everything is handed to you on a silver platter, literally. It's like watching a fish try to climb a tree - entertaining, sure, but also a little bit sad.
So what's next for our in-shex royals? Will they pivot to TikTok and start doing dance challenges? Will they launch a line of royal-inspired pet accessories? Or will they swallow their pride and make the long walk back to Buckingham Palace, tails between their legs? Only time will tell, my friends. But one thing's for sure - this royal drama is far from over. It's got more twists and turns than a palace hedge maze, and I for one can't wait to see what happens next. As for King Charles, well, he might want to stock up on the Advil. Something's telling me this royal headache isn't going away anytime soon. But hey, look on the bright side, your majesty - at least it's keeping everyone distracted from your own follies. Silver linings, right?
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So there you have it, folks - the latest, greatest, most shocking royal news served up hot and spicy, just the way you like it. This is your friendly neighborhood critic signing off until next time. Keep it real, and remember - in the Game of Thrones, sometimes Netflix decides your fate. And hey Harry and Meghan, if you're watching, and let's face it, you probably are since you have a lot of free time these days - here's some free advice from your friendly neighborhood critic. Maybe it's time to stop relying on your royal connections and start showing the world what you're really made of. After all, isn't that why you left in the first place? Remember folks, in the immortal words of the great philosopher DJ Khaled, "Congratulations, you played yourself." Let's hope our dynamic duo can turn this around before they have to start selling royal memorabilia on eBay.
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